Return To Humanity
Learning To Pause
“We have to leave in 20 minutes,” says my father, who understands the delays a foggy morning can cause. We should have been ready and seated in the car for the trip we had planned but a family of 12 runs around, deciding what to wear, waiting in line for the bathroom, and drink cha (tea).
I look at my watch, almost every 10 minutes thinking about how late we are running.
My 10-year-old cousin is on his phone playing every android game he can find.
My Mamu at one end of the room, Mami at the other pulling at a black muslin cloth which will be Mamu’s Pag (Sikh Turban) eventually.
My mom warms up her hot water bag in the kitchen- its freezing outside. I enter the kitchen to grab milk for my little cousin. The only thing on my mind was the delay. I take another look at my watch and signal to my mother — “we are 1.5 hours late”
Everyone’s doing their own thing, and its honestly pretty hectic.
My Nani walks up to a little gold frame of Guru Nanak Dev ji and folds her hands. She covers her head, closes her eyes and prays. One by one, I see members of my family slowing down. Nani is carrying out morning Ardas. I was surprised to see the power a single prayer possessed. It was astonishing. She hasn't requested anybody to pay attention or even maintain silence but it was almost understood what has to be done. Whoever notices Nani stops what they are doing and folds their hands. My mom whispered in my ear “Nani Ardas kar rahe hai” (Nani is carrying out Ardas) and I folded my hands too. All of this happened within a single minute, you’d be surprised to know how long a minute lasts.
In this moment I let go of every thought that occupied my mind — how everyone was delaying the trip, the rush I was in to leave and the consequences of reaching our destination late. I felt almost surprised at the ease I was in. I started to reflect on this feeling of sudden ease when we were in the car, finally on our way. Was it the Ardas, the warm bath I’d taken or the 8-hour sleep I had gotten the night before? Maybe abit of everything or maybe it was something different altogether. When Nani began to carry out Ardas, it forced me to surrender. I was forced into “the pause”.
The art of pausing I realized that day, are both beautiful and liberating. In that moment of pause, even if it was just for a moment I let go of the resentment I was feeling towards everyone that was late. I paused to think, I paused to understand and I paused to let any negative reaction I would have had to go.
I live in a city that is known to be unforgiving, time-starved, expensive, fast and never off — Mumbai. As a Design Researcher that lives in Mumbai, my life can get a bit overwhelming sometimes. That’s why my word for the year 2023 is “pause”. I’m going to consciously start taking intentional pauses in my life — I want to be more human. Pausing is a need we all share. The pause allows us to take something in and have it take hold of us. It calms and centers us. It returns us to our humanity. I hope that after reading this, you take a minute to pause and reflect.
